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Know the Patterns of Abuse
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Know the Patterns of Abuse – Threats, Power Misuse, and Control

What symptoms below fit your life?

Emotional abuse
  • Putting the other person down
  • Making the other person feel bad about themselves
  • Calling the other person names
  • Making the other person think they are crazy
  • Playing mind games
  • Humiliating the other person
  • Making the other person feel guilty

Abusing Privileges or Rights
  • Treating the other person like a servant
  • Making all the big decisions
  • Acting like the master of the castle
  • Being the one who determines the roles

Economic Abuse
  • Preventing the other person from getting or keeping a job
  • Making the other person ask for money
  • Giving the other person an allowance
  • Taking the other person's money
  • Not letting the other person know about or have access to family income

Using Coercion and Threats
  • Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the other person
  • Threatening to leave the other person, to commit suicide, report the other person to welfare
  • Making the other person drop charges
  • Making the other person do illegal things 

Using Intimidation
  • Making the other person afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions
  • Smashing things
  • Abusing pets
  • Displaying weapons

Using Children
  • Making the other person feel guilty about the children
  • Using the children to relay messages
  • Using visitation to harass the other person
  • Threatening to take the children away

Using Isolation
  • Controlling what another person does, who they see and talk to, what's read, and where they go
  • Limiting their outside involvement
  • Using jealousy to justify actions

Minimizing, Denying, Blaming
  • Making light of the abuse and not taking the other person's concerns about it seriously
  • Saying the abuse never happened
  • Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
  • Saying the other person caused the abuse to happen 


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See more Domestic Violence By The Numbers.


Has any of the following happened to you?

Does your partner...
  • Blame everyone else especially you, for his or her mistakes? Yes___ No___
  • Prevent you from seeing your family or friends? Yes___ No___
  • Curse you, say mean things, mock you or humiliate you? Yes___ No___
  • Force you to have sex or force you to engage in sex that makes you feel uncomfortable? Yes___ No___
  • Restrain, hit, punch, slap, or kick you? Yes___ No___
  • Intimidate or threaten you? Yes___ No___
  • Ever prevent you from leaving the house, getting a job, or continuing your education? Yes___ No___

    If you answered “Yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Call Roanoke County Police Department’s Domestic Violence Division at (540) 777-8699, (540) 562-3265, or email us for assistance. We can help you to obtain warrants, orders of protection and counseling.

Dial 9-1-1 in an emergency.


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